The silent killer

The death of Chadwick Boseman shook me. It shook me in a way that I wasn’t prepared for, a way that took me a few days to process. He was living his best life, the example of fitness and peak performance firing on all cylinders, setting records and making history. He was young, in the prime of his life. Yet this man had a fatal illness. To hear that he had been fighting cancer for the past 4 years made me realize that as men, we need to take our health more seriously. We often fall into the trap of avoiding the doctor until it’s too late.

We ignore the little pains or problems in our body until it becomes unbearable or past the point of no return. We avoid discussions with doctors because it makes us feel uncomfortable, especially about things that are personal or embarrassing. We’re more afraid about making a big deal out of nothing than ensuring we don’t have something festering that will take us out.

This stems primarily from fear. Fear from hearing a diagnosis we don’t want to hear, fear from being told to work out more or change our diet. Fear from what people may think if there was actually something wrong with us. It also doesn’t help that the societal image of how men are supposed to act scares us away from showing vulnerability. This is compounded more in black society where we call boys “little man” with some pushing the concept of “hardness” as a measure of manhood. Complaining about slight pains or discomfort may be seen as weak and we tend to brush these things off as minor for fear that it will paint us as less than a man.

Until we see blood show up where it shouldn’t, or the pain becomes too much. The reality is that we aren’t invincible, or “hard” or any other concepts that society pushes on us in order to validate our existence or maintain some kind of “man card.”

I am not exempt here. I have had issues or concerns that I had to build up the courage to ask a doctor about or even go in for a visit to discuss. In these instances, my life improved because I took action and did something about it, even if it was just talking about it out loud. I just scheduled my checkup for the year, it’s a few months late but I’m getting it done. I’ve been using the pandemic as an excuse to stay away from doctors and hospitals and I realize now that it’s only to my detriment.

I’ve talked about mental health in a previous blog post and our physical health and well-being is just as important. Go to your doctor, ask them about the little things. Our body’s talk to us, tell us when things are wrong or not as they should be. We ignore these signals or downplay them until it’s too late and we’re paying the cost for it as a society. Too many young boys are losing their fathers to illness and early death. Seek help, get your annual checkup and encourage another man to do the same. Talk to your brothers, your fathers, your sons, your friends. We have to eliminate the fear of seeing a doctor and taking care of our health.

The alternative is having no choice and being too late for it to make a difference.